black monday . . . .

When I got to work this morning, I went about my normal routine of powering up, sorting through emails, checking messages, etc. About nine, I went for a cup of coffee and came back to check cnn.com for the morning headlines. That is how our office found out. There was no internal communication until 10:30 or so. When I began to realize the enormity of the sale, I started writing an account of the day as it unfolded. Some of this may just be jibberish and may not make much sense, but there is still a lot that doesn't make sense of it all.

I'm sitting at my desk. It's 11:10 am on Monday September 29th. It feels like it should be four o'clock in the afternoon already. The past two hours have been nonstop static, since the news broke about C buying W banking. My division was specifically not mentioned in the sale, which all but guarantees another announcement will be made about the sale of this division, hopefully within the next couple of days. My clients are twitchy, my coworkers are freaking out, my inbox is full of concerned messages from friends and snarky ones from others, and isn't it interesting that Charlotte is completely, and totally silent. We've been sent a memo from corporate with talking points for clients and customers. The talking points are generic at best.

It is now 1pm. Just back from grabbing a sandwich at Quiznos. Lots of W guys getting lunch there as well. My work buddy G and I ran into one of the private banking guys. He is pretty high up. He said the stock is not totally worthless, we should eventually get $8-12 a share. Not great, but better than $1 a share. He looked shell-shocked. They all looked shell-shocked. According to him, there will be significant lay-offs. It's only a matter of when. I sat and looked at the dozen or so men still in line. It was like a scene from a movie - loosened ties, unbuttoned collars. Hair standing on end and bloodshot eyes. Instead of a picture from some far-off, distant financial district, it was a picture literally across the street from my office. These are intelligent businessmen. They are knowledgeable about investments. And they didn't see this coming. How does that happen?

We now have a conf call scheduled at 2 and another at 4:30. I'm not worried about myself. I know I will be fine, regardless of the outcome. But I have all these questions and no answers! Besides the obvious regarding the future of our division, or the future of this office - How will this affect my 401(k) and stock options? What does this mean for the future of my clients? Was W truly, really just an inch away from failure? If W could potentially fail, who/what is next? Why are we not being traded on the market right now? How long will it last and will the price lift? What about the thousands of employees/retirees who just saw their retirement demolished? WHERE is the accountability for our former/current CEOs? Please tell me that the former's payout was pure stock and not cash. Every member of the board should be held accountable to the courts. We need to change the way corporate America is governed. We need to prevent greed from outweighing what is right.

Now I'm sitting on hold, waiting for the 4:30 conference call to begin. The 2 o'clock call was a complete waste of time. Less than five minutes of terse reiteration of the history of "why we are in the financial situation we are in". No new information and no Q&A. Maybe this one will give us a little more.

The late afternoon call was more of the same, but there was an open Q&A. Which confirmed that a sale is being negotiated but no suitors were specifically named. Also confirmed that an announcement will be made "as soon as possible". Confirmed that stock wasn't traded in order to give analysts time to digest the news of the sale (which was just as well, considering the stock closed at $1.84). We were told to make sure to take care of each other and "deal with the stress" and to continue servicing our clients and focusing on customer service. Additional talking points will be circulated tomorrow and an open letter to our clients is being drafted. No specifics on benefits or employee owned stock information. Many questions were punted by the HR rep on the call.

A lot of people lost a lot of money today. And a lot of my coworkers had the rug pulled out from under them. The greed of some is becoming the burden of all. Our economy is going to get worse before it gets better. The bailout is confusing at best. If the election doesn't tear our country apart, the ever depressive economy will for sure. As draining as the day was, I will not be shaken! God is in control.

Reasons I like living downtown

The past few weekends I've challenged myself to drive as little as possible while getting out of the house and staying active as much as possible. Living downtown makes that so easy. This past weekend I wore myself out - Friday night I met a friend for dinner (did have to drive to the location - several miles and not able to walk). Saturday morning comprised of an extra long workout all along the hood. I love getting out early on the weekends - most of my neighborhood is made up of old stately houses that have been converted into law offices or counseling centers. It's quiet, low traffic, but still feels like a neighborhood, with shady streets, wide sidewalks and deep lawns. My friend RJ met me and we walked down to the farmer's market on Main Street. I wasn't sure what the selection would be like, as we're fast approaching the end of the summer crop. But I left with two huge Biltmore tomatoes (bright red and juicy), a pound of fresh green beans, an onion, and a free reusable bag from Earth Fare, all for less than $5.

The roomie and I headed back downtown, walking to Saffron's for lunch outside and then hitting Art in the Park. It was such a great day! There were all kinds of vendors and artists, and we saw some really great exhibits. And good conversation covering a wide range of subjects. Saturday night Tucker and I went for another long walk around downtown. Sunday was more of the same - early morning workout walk and church. Sunday afternoon I went back down to Art in the Park w/ C, Lem and Tiff. We stopped to draw w/ sidewalk chalk, breezed past a lot of the artists (most of the exhibits seemed a bit more fragile/breakable with a 6 and 2 year old in hand) and had a great time at the Kids Tent making our own "art".

I just completed my fifth week of tracking calories and workouts on the daily plate. Livestrong has a great tool - http://www.livestrong.com/thedailyplate. It's free and easy to use. As of Friday, I'm down 23 lbs and have tracked exercise for two consecutive weeks. It's a good feeling to have a record, and I'm trying to search out some new ideas for routes around the area. As of this morning I've been averaging 45 minute routes and jogging between 10-15 mins. in intervals of 4/5 mins. I have a long way to go, but my goal is to run the Cooper River Bridge Run in April.

There are so many things out of my control, but this is something I can control and work towards. It has helped me clear my head, make room for good quiet time, and Tucker thinks our early morning adventures are great!

There was a definite chill in the air this morning when we headed out - I even grabbed a pair of gloves to keep my fingers warm. I love the sounds of early morning - the thud of a newspaper on a porch, the occasional rumble of a truck downshifting towards Main Street . . . this is when my little city is at it's best. When the streets are quiet and the sidewalks are fresh - predawn calm before the storm of the morning commute. Everything seems so clear, so sharp. I try to mirror my mind in the same fashion; to clear my head and focus on the goals of the day, and to spend time reflecting and praying over the things that push up through the cracks. I've never thought of myself as a morning person but I certainly look forward to them lately.

Getting started

I have always enjoyed writing, for myself and for others, and the past few years I've begun to appreciate the art of blogging, too. For several months I've meant to start my own, and now that it's starting to feel like fall, I'm finding my creativity again (after the zapping heat of summer) and here we are.

There are several motives - a.) to keep in better touch with the people I love b.) to branch out and explore this incredibly inspiring world of blogs and c.) to keep myself motivated, focused and challenged. And besides, myspace has become too dark and facebook is too bright (aka not private enough for such postings as I intend here). I decided on sassafras as a title as it is my family nickname, and I've always loved the sassafras tree.

The wiki definition of a sassafras tree is as follows:

Sassafras is a genus of three species of deciduous trees in the family Lauraceae, native to eastern North America and eastern Asia.

Sassafras trees grow from 15–35 m (50–120 feet) tall and 70–150 cm (2.5–6 feet) in diameter, with many slender branches, and smooth, orange-brown bark. The bark of the mature trunk is thick, red-brown, and deeply furrowed. The wood is light, soft, weak, and brittle. All parts of the plants are very fragrant. The species are unusual in having three distinct leaf patterns on the same plant, unlobed oval, bilobed (mitten-shaped), and trilobed. The young leaves and twigs are quite mucilaginous, and produce a scent similar to lemons when crushed. The tiny, yellow flowers are five-petaled and bloom in the spring.

The name "Sassafras," applied by the botanist Nicolas Monardes in the sixteenth century, is said to be a corruption of the Spanish word for saxifrage.

I identify with this tree - soaring height, deeply furrowed, the smell of lemons . . . I remember being a little girl and my dad would pluck a sassafras leaf for me to chew on while we walked through the woods. And it really does taste like a very tangy lemon. It's a perfect little moment of clarity, as I hope this blog will be!